Satire, but it could happen . . . EDITOR
By Tony Muga
March 23, 2012
The streets and offices of Washington D.C. were like a ghost town Friday as Radio Shack opened its doors to brisk sales of the new ‘TruthTeller5000’; a portable, hand-held lie-detector costing less than $20. The new technology does not require the use of sensors or wires but instead utilizes a remote brain-wave detector that ‘homes in’ on the area of the brain most active when lying. The moment specific neural pathways ‘light up’, the TruthTeller5000 emits an audible alarm and flashing red light, alerting its operator that the subject is being less than honest.
Dr. Richard Solinsky, of Tandy Corporation’s Research and Development explains:The TruthTeller5000 is able to triangulate on the frontal cortex of any subject within its range of 100 feet, you simply acquire the target in the sights provided, engage the receiver button and question away! If the frontal cortex activates, the alarm sounds and bingo! You know the subject is lying.”
In what is being described as (and perhaps wrongly so) an ‘unfortunate side effect’ of this new technology, Washington D.C., the hallowed halls of Congress, and indeed the White House has been all but abandoned. As of Friday afternoon, only a skeleton-crew of clerks and janitors remain to operate the control center of the most powerful nation in the world.
Attempts to locate President Obama, in the form of repeated calls to the White House have gone unanswered. An anonymous source close to the President said that he “…left this morning in a hurry on an ‘indefinite leave of absence” and that “…he didn’t say when he would be back or even IF he’d be back.” . . . Complete Report